Real, rough and raw

It is time to unwind, take a breath and... VENT!! Most days are good...even if they don't "feel" good. I try to look at the good in every day, count my blessings and see things from a positive perspective. Today was not one of those days. I don't know if it all started with Cade dumping several fist fulls of granola onto my carpet as he shoved the large bites into his mouth, the dog running through my house with muddy paws, or bumps, spills, fussy children, half done school work, the stack of dishes from the night before and piles of laundry... but today was just rough! I seriously hate complaining but can I just scream??!! I felt like the world's worst, grouchiest Mom today. (Which makes me feel even more stressed and worse.) I yelled, fussed and cried at my kids today. Nothing in particular even was horrible or went wrong..it was just ME having an off day and responding negatively to all the frustrations and messes the day had to bring.

 I love my children more than anything in the whole world..they are my greatest treasures and blessings. How could I be frustrated and mad and short with these beautiful little people? I usually LOVE rocking Cade to sleep at night and reading the other ones their devotions, but tonight the little fingers pinching at my underarms made me cringe and the sucking noises Cade made as he sucked on his little fingers( that I usually adore) just made me stressed and mad tonight. I just needed everyone to be quiet and go away...

I don't know how much good typing this out will do..sometimes I think it just helps to write and get it all out. I do know that I am so thankful for God's mercy and love and for His grace that truly does cover our weaknesses. I am thankful that when I miss it with my children, that God covers those mistakes. He really does fill in the gaps where I lack and I am thankful. We are going to have bad days, weeks or even months, but I am reminded that it's not what we do or don't do that makes us a good or bad Mom..it is the love that we have for our children and the love that comes from God through us that makes us a good Mom.

 It is easy to compare ourselves to others and think that somehow that if we look great, excersize regularly, eat organic healthy foods made from scratch :) have our children involved in a bunch of activities, keep our house clean, help others, plan and host great parties, have our kids dressed in the best(the list could go on forever!) that somehow that makes us "Good Moms" This is such a lie that I buy into so many times! Those are "MY" standards of what a good Mom looks like not God's!! If I fall short of the standard I have set for myself than I feel I have failed and I am a bad Mom. It is by nothing we do that makes us good...In God's eyes because of Jesus we are whole, good , beautiful and cleansed ! We have everything we need, to be who He has called us to be. He has already equipped us to be GREAT MOMS!!   I want to see myself as God sees me and stop putting so much pressure on myself to meet up to MY standard of what a good Mom is. I am a good Mom because of God's mercy, strength and grace poured upon me. Ahh..ok I am feeling better...no wonder why I felt God speaking this to me at the beginning of this week...He knew I would need to be reminded.

Mother's Day thoughts....

Oh my... this year I am so emotional with even the thought of Mothers day. I probably won't even be able to get through this post without the rain beginning to pour....I feel incredibly blessed beyond words. Thoughts of what being a Mother has meant to me flood my heart. I remember the moment I found out that I was pregnant with Mireya....the awe, fear, wonder, anticipation and excitement( just to name a few filled my heart.) I had no idea what I was getting into! I don't think anyone could have ever prepared me for what was about to come as I took on the role of a Mommy. I never thought I could love a person so much..those tiny fingers and toes..such little miracles that I would just stare at and admire. With each new child my heart grew and grew. Now I feel like I am going to burst! How can this already be my 9th Mothers day with # 5 on the way?! I am so grateful and thankful for the priviledge I have been given to love, nurture, teach and guide these little ones. They make my life complete and fill me with so much joy.
Michael and all our" littles" took me to my favorite restaurant today (The Cheesecake Factory) :) for Mothers day. We were all hoping that something on the menu somewhere, somehow might happen to sound somewhat appetizing. (This new little baby is sending my stomach on a roller coaster ride of nausea and I am not certain what might sound good or send me running to the bathroom at any given moment! Not a good combo on Mothers Day! After much time deciding I finally decided on one of my favorite asian dishes with chicken, veggies and rice. I was able to enjoy the first few bites and then I didn't care if I ever tasted it ever again! I just have to laugh...might as well!
As we were eating Michael and the kids went around the table and shared what they loved about Mommy. I prewarned them all that they would most definately get a waterworks show! I loved and treasured every word..."because you give me hugs and kisses" " Because you are the best Mom" and "beacause you love me" were a few of the sweet words that were so kindly spoken. Jude wrapped his prized magnet that we just bought him in California and wouldn't let me open it until we were all seated at the resaurant. He shoved it in my hands and said with the biggest grin in the world "Here Mommy, open it now!" I of course was SO excited and thanked him and hugged him at which he smiled his huge grin again and said " I love you because you love me and because I gave you my magnet!" If that doesn't melt your heart as a Mom I don't know what will! Those are the best kind of gifts in the whole world!

I am so thankful for the gift I have been given to be a Mommy...I will look back and treasure the dirty fingerprints all over my walls ( and footprints sometimes too ;p), the cheerios spilled on the floor, the piles of dirty laundry, big smiles, little giggles, loud voices, cuddles and story times, shopping trips with all of them, walks to the park, learning together, midnight visitors and snuggles, deep spiritual conversations and the most simple,silly talks, tickles, sticky floors, tripping over toys, chocolate faces ,little toes and fingers, crazy dancing, 6 in a king bed!,  playing in water, I love you's, hugs and kisses, messy cooking and baking together, mud puddles..I could go on and on..the list would never end. I am blessed and so thankful.

5x the fun coming December 2012!

God is blessing us and adding one more baby to our family!!!! We are so thankful and can't wait to meet our new little one in December!

Lots and lots of lady bugs!

We met a friend and her daughter at the park yesterday and since our children are really country kids living in a city, instead of playing on the large play structure, they decided that chasing the lady bugs in the field was so much more fun! As it was almost time to leave the lady bugs that Silas and his friend Amanda had caught kept managing to escape out of their hands. A lady nearby heard us talking about lady bugs and noticed how we were trying to find one more so they each had one to take home. She mentioned that she had seen a sign at a nearby nursery that said they had lady bugs for sale. I convinced Silas to let his friend take the remaining lady bug home and told him we would go buy some from the nursery.

We drove the 5 minutes to the nursery and I never saw a sign saying they had lady bugs so I went in and asked them if they sold them. They said yes they did and grabbed me a small container of them. I thanked them and went to pay. When I got to the counter my total was 7.95. I thought that seemed high for the small container I had, but figured it was totally worth it for the joy the kids would have playing with the bugs. I got in the car, handed the container to Silas and drove out of the parking lot. As I drove away my eye caught the sign that was advertising the lady bugs. It said: "1,500 lady bugs...just $7.95!!! Oh my goodness! I just bought 1,500 lady bugs!! I would have never imagined that small container could hold so much! Needless to say Silas was a pretty happy guy and had enough to share and then some! We decided to let them go at the park Easter morning!

Childproof cabinet locks????

The other day I heard screaming coming from the kitchen..I ran into the kitchen to see who was making the awful noise and found out quickly that Cade had managed to open our cabinet locks and climb into the cabinet! The only problem was that he shut the door after he climbed in and because of the locks he couldn't push the door back open to get out! I laughed so hard as I walked in and saw his feet sticking out of the bottom of the cabinet! I quickly grabbed my camera ( yeah I know, terrible right? I should have gotten him out immediately!) but the sight was so hilarious that I knew another minute locked in the cabinet would be worth the memory. In this case a picture is truly worth more than a thousand words, so I will spare you any more talking and post the pictures! Hope you laugh as hard as I did! :)

      For some reason I am having trouble turning this....I will figure it out but until then...so sorry!

Easter Sunday

This morning we woke up not sure what our Sunday would look like. We were all pretty tired from the festivities before and didn't make it to the early service. After talking we decided to meet up with David and Hannah at the park in between our houses and have a family Easter service together. We decided it would be fun and more meaningful to spend time togehter reflectiong on what Easter means to us instead of going to our packed church and splitting up into classes. I am so glad we did this. It will be an Easter Sunday we will never forget and probably one of the first Sundays that I can remember not "going to church." I dressed the kids in the outfits I had bought them so that they cordinated and we grabbed the camera, my guitar, our Bibles and headed down to the park. Once we got there we all collected some stones and each wrote an area of struggle on the stones. We then each placed the stones in the shape of the cross and told the children that because Jesus dies on the cross that His blood covers each one of the sins written on the rocks. I think this really stuck in their little minds and it touched my heart to see them each write of have us write areas that they wanted help in. Michael read the Easter story and we prayed. It was so simple, but yet so refreshing and meaningful. I am so thankful for what the resurrection means to each one of us who has been covered by the blood of Jesus!

Easter Celebrations

I feel like I have so much backtracking to do as I have missed posting so many things...oh well..I guess I can backtrack later if I have time! :)

This Easter was such a special time. Every year I look for ways to incorporate the message of the resurrection to my children and what that means in our lives. It is so fun to find ways to teach them and I find myself looking at blog after blog and finding all kinds of fun ideas. Every year I always hope I will add more and make it even more real to our children.

We always make resurrection rolls and we got a chance to do that with a few of our wonderful homeschooling friends this year. The children take a marshmallow, dip it in butter symbolizing the oil they annointed the body of Jesus with and then roll it in cinnamon and sugar symbolizing the spices they rubbed on his body before they placed him in the tomb. Then you place the marshmallow in a crescent roll and seal it up tight ( like the tomb) put it in the oven and wait to see what happens! When the rolls are finished and they are opened up they are hollow inside like the empty tomb! This is such a fun idea for the children to make and yummy too!



We read a lot of stories and talk a lot about the ressurection and what it means. This year we talked about the last supper and about what that meant. I think the older two really understood what the grape juice and the bread symbolized.

Since Michael works on Sundays we decided to celebrate with friends and family on Saturday. I baked a ham, made potatoes, fresh homemade lemonade and our traditional "dirt cake" in a flower pot served with a small hand shovel. I usually have an Easter lily to put in but forgot to get one this year so ended up pulling off a fake flower from a plant in my room and sticking it in the pot. :) Everyone brought a dish which included: a wonderful veggie tray, rolls, delicious stuffed eggs and green bean casserole. The food was amazing! All the Dads went to the park with armfulls of plastic eggs to hide for the kids, as all the Moms and children waited a few minutes to give them a head start to hide the eggs! Everyone had a blast looking for eggs and Silas even found the "golden egg" which held $5 that Uncle David generously donated. Silas of course was so sweet and gave it to his lifelong friend Selah. That really warmed my heart.... :) The egg hunt was followed by a talk about what Easter is all about and a quiz for the kids. What a fun evening! I am so thankful for such close, wonderful friends that we truly call family to celebrate with!